And I'm off yet again on this never-ending journey

5 weeks.

7 kilos.

Can I do it?

Yes.

Will I do it?

Duh :)

This is going to take a lot of motivation, determination and plain old being strict.

I start tomorrow. 

Wednesday 7 July 2010.

I finish Thursday 12 August 2010.

Wish me luck.

xx

Eh, not good.

Well, a close cousin of mine passed away and yeah.

Not in the mood to do much at all not even  blog really.

hope everyones in a happier state.

xx

Take it all away please.

Sorry I haven't been on in a while.

I was hoping to come back weighing less and feeling thinner.

My tummy has gone down but I'm guessing sit ups have something to to with it?

I'm stuck at 123lbs and i want those 23lbs to go away.

Somebody take them please?

I wish we could push fat around.

I know it sounds odd but I'd find it easier if we could choose where the fat goes, I'd spread it evenly all over so as there would be a thin layer instead of a huge hunk hanging off my hip bone...

A lot has happened the past couple of days. And I don't feel completely myself at the moment.

A while ago, my closest cousin died, we were best friends. Yesterday, there was an article in the newspaper about her death. I'd explain but theres no point.

It's hit me again that shes really gone forever.

Somebody take away the memories and the pain please?

I'm not the most emotional person you'll ever meet.

In fact I only show one emotion, happiness.

I don't deal with the rest.

I usually push them to the back of my mind and let them sit there and sulk

because I ignore them.

However, this has been building up for 8 months now and its taking over...

I'm trying my best to hide it from my mum. Partially because she'll ask questions and partially because I get scared when she shows affection.

It's not normal for her to show she cares.

I want to live in my own fairytale world. Away from the harsh reality of life.

I want to go back to childhood, playing all day and not worrying about anything except

"will the shops run out of sweeties?"

or

"which colour should I use now?"

I guess my ideal world would glow. I am in love with glowing objects.

I become entranced by the glowing and I can't help but stare at it for hours.

I swear I have mild ADD. I keep changing topic.

I know I have mild paranoia, and I'm scared it will get worse.

Yes I am a problematic child.

Who isn't?

I think as many as six impossible things before breakfast (:

1. I was secretly born Russian.

2. Toys are secretly alive.

3. Music notes will one day start emitting themselves from speakers.

4. I will grow out of glowing objects such as glow sticks and black light.

5. My bedroom door will turn to jelly.

6. I will marry the Mad Hatter.

Yes, I do deserve a slap across the face..

I have lost that kilo from when the Period Bitch came. I have 5 days to lose another kilo.

I guess this means strict fast!

Aw man, I don't want to go to this dance. I don't have a dress and I just don't fit in in situations like that. I'm not the formal type at all, I'm more the get wasted and get high type..

Don't need to act all pristine and upper class.

I'm not a socialite. I'm the stoner.

Most probably why I am fat (:

I just don't feel comfortable standing around sipping wine,making small talk about the weather or the food. Oh God, THE FOOD.

It's a buffet anyways, so I'm in total control :)

Usually formal occasions you need to be skinny and elegant.

Theres no such thing as an elegant fat person I can tell you that.

Anyways, enough ranting about fat elegant people...

I'm starting to think about changing my look. I'm pretty plain and I hate it.

I want to dye my hair, I just have to find the right colour.

I'm hoping wash out will help with that :D

Either I go platinum blonde and get a short cut, or I let my hair grow long and dye it a reddish brown.

This holiday, I am getting my new piercings. Once I reach my goal weight :) I also need to be skinny by end of July! First July I'll be skinny and able to buy clothes and not worry about fat arms, ass, legs and love handles. Oh I can not wait.

And I have found a tattoo that i may actually like. It's a peacock feather.

I want to get it on y upper arm, with fantastical colours.

I'm too white for a monochromatic tattoo. Bold, florescent colours suite me.

Maybe even a black light tattoo.

I'd like to apologise for not being on in a while. Schools hectic at the moment. I promise to start commenting on blogs as soon as this week is finished! Exam Week you see.

A Total Ass Whore.

I am quite vulgar at times and I do apologise for it.

Stay Strong and Think Thin.

xxx

Brazil!

Ahahahaa, I'm a chick and I'm caught up in the World Cup Mania :D

Well, tomorrow, I start liquid fast :)

My plan.. GREEN TEA

I can't wait to be honest.

I don't know why, but theres always this excitement when starting a diet :D

I love it, its a form of motivation!

I promise tomorrow, I'll post a long post.

I know I don't so much of them, but I can't now, France vs Uruguay is about to start!

GO URUGUAY!

xx

Binge.

Urgh, Period Binge. FUCKING UGH!

I need to get back on track

Thursday-

Fruit and water

Friday-

Fruit and water

Saturday-

Liquid Fast

Sunday-

Liquid Fast

Monday-

Liquid Fast

And I'll go on from there.

Small post, but heres a little update.

I am going to prom with an amazing guy, exams are in a week, 4 weeks of school left, AND I HAVENT LOST WEIGHT.

that kilo that i lost? Period Bitch decided I needed to gain it again T.T

Turbo Strict Diet from now on.