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Tuesday, July 27, 2010

PUTAIN!!

Fuck Sakes! Remember the whole no restarting...
well guess fucking what...yeah
binge
UGH! I'm so pissed at myself right now if I could jump out of my body and bitch slap my face I would.
Extra jogging tomorrow to burn the unwanted calories consumed under mild(ok not so mild) food insanity.
On the bright side, I feel myself falling back into my old state as I was this time last year. I had reached my lowest weight in August. I figure I could do the same this year only not repeat mistakes I made and keep to that weight. You know that state where all food just doesn't seem worthy of eating. Like calories are a rare currency and you gotta be careful what you spend them on. Well, oddly enough my binge today was on shepards pie. It was so damn delicious, I just couldn't resist. I haven't had it in fuck knows how long and it's a childhood thing.
Right... I hate to say it but Re-start. This is my final re-start. Come down on me hard if I say I'm going to re-start again. I need a random person with me, to be there and bitch slap me every time I make for the fridge. I guess I have to be strong and do it myself. I am thinking of drawing on my hand and every time I lift it up to open any cupboard or fridge, it will be there to remind me of my goal and current purpose.
 I'll post a picture of it in my next post :)
I hope you're all doing a lot better than me.




Monday, July 26, 2010

A new lovely wine stain on my oh so boring white dress...


Well, I am le back :)
I know I sorta disappeared there for a while but I needed to get my head straight and didn't have the energy to post. I've been playing guitar, I haven't been studying and I think the couch and my buttocks are more than acquainted now. I have taken up jogging again which I actually missed. Well whilst I'm jogging its a bit of a battle but when you finish and you can say you ran so far and for this period of time oh and you burnt so many calories, it feels better than good. When we push ourselves past our limits we become euphoric. Anything is possible but I prefer to think of it as impossible and make it possible. 
Now possible sounds funny (: Have you ever done that? repeated a word so often it becomes strange?
I've sort of come to be addicted to exercise. It is a bit of a weird addiction but once I start I can't seem to get enough of it. 

17 days till my holiday away. I can't wait. But then I think of the exercise I can do in 17 days and the holiday sort of vanishes from mind. Then the image of shopping and being able to try on millions of clothes and not have to look at yourself and think 'Oh Shit.. what the fuck is that?' pushes me even further. 

I've had enough of the restarting. All I seem to be doing is restarting. NO MORE! I won't lose weight if I think I can get away with failing and restarting, I want to get to the end and not be beat.
 I will reach the end.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

And I'm off yet again on this never-ending journey

5 weeks.
7 kilos.
Can I do it?
Yes.
Will I do it?
Duh :)
This is going to take a lot of motivation, determination and plain old being strict.
I start tomorrow. 
Wednesday 7 July 2010.
I finish Thursday 12 August 2010.
Wish me luck.
xx

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Eh, not good.

Well, a close cousin of mine passed away and yeah.
Not in the mood to do much at all not even  blog really.
hope everyones in a happier state.
xx